


Maybe We Can Make This Work

by PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead



Category: Schitt’s Creek
Genre: Blow Jobs, F/M, M/M, Oral Sex, Vaginal Fingering
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:33:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 18,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23254762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead/pseuds/PositivelyBedeviledSchitthead
Summary: Stevie and David set out to find some randoms. What they find instead catches them both by surprise. They decide to try again—not as friends with benefits—but as something more.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Patrick Brewer/Stevie Budd, Stevie Budd/David Rose
Comments: 17
Kudos: 67





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU starting after Schitt’s Creek Season 2 Episode 7. This fic answers the question, “What if David and Stevie had connected at the bar when they went in search of randoms?”

“You wanna break?” 

“Uhm, what?”

“Oh this is going to be fun.”

********

Stevie beat David at the first game of pool. It was a hard-won victory. She realized half-way through that he actually did know how to play. They were pretty evenly matched. When she finally sunk the 8 ball in the corner pocket she cheered loudly for herself. “Next round is on you.” She laughed pointing a finger at him and swaying her hips in a funny little celebratory wiggle.

David sighed and walked over to the bar. Stevie couldn’t help but look at his ass as he walked away. He always looked hot in those tight black jeans and that leather jacket. She shook her head, ‘I must be drunk’ she thought.

David came back with two beers—one in each hand. Stevie smirked remembering the first time they’d fucked and the way David had dropped the bottles he’d been holding. God, they’d been a mess that day. But holy shit, they’d had fun. 

David gave her an odd look when he handed her one of the beers. “What was that look for?”

“What look?” Stevie said sounding a little sheepish. 

David took a sip of his beer and waved a finger in her direction. “Uhm...that look.”

Stevie couldn’t help herself. She was grinning like an idiot. Fuck she was horny. She really needed to get laid.

“Just rack ‘em, David.” She walked to the other end of the pool table and picked up the chalk. 

David finished racking the balls and flicked his eyes up to Stevie. She was absentmindedly chalking the cue and staring at something on the wall. Well, not staring at it exactly, staring through it, like she did when she was thinking hard about something. 

‘She looks really fucking hot tonight,’ David thought to himself. ‘Fuck!’ 

He watched as she leaned over the table for the break—just a hint of cleavage showing at the neckline of the black v-neck t-shirt she wore under his leather jacket. She was still wearing his clothes whenever she wanted and she looked amazing. David licked his lips. ‘I must be drunker than I thought.’ 

As they continued to play, their laughter got louder, and they consumed their drinks faster until whatever tension they’d felt earlier was gone. They were just two friends having a good time. Until David beat Stevie for the second time. They were tied. 

“Winner of this game takes all?” Stevie asked as she racked the balls. 

“Takes all of what?” David asked rolling the cue ball back and forth lightly across the green felt. 

Stevie shrugged as she stepped close to him—a little too close—holding her hand out for the cue ball, the back of her fingers barely touching his chest. “Whatever they want.” She said looking up at him with a tiny smirk. 

David sucked in a breath and handed her the ball. “Okay, did you mean for that to sound like that?”

“Sound like what?” Stevie asked innocently, her eyes dancing as she put the ball down and reached for her beer. She took a long drink—her eyes never leaving David’s. David groaned inwardly as he watched her lips wrap around the top of the bottle. 

“You are evil. You know that?”

“Why? I just meant that if I win I can take whatever I want.” Stevie replied.

David leaned towards her and fingered the collar of his jacket. “Oh you mean like you seem to have taken this jacket? I’ve been wondering where it was.”

“It’s been in the back seat of my car, David.” Stevie replied. 

David groaned again but for an entirely different reason. The idea of his insanely expensive, Italian leather jacket thrown carelessly in the back seat of Stevie’s car with donut boxes and fast food containers was more than he could stand. 

“Oh, you’re not going to be taking anything.” He said with an air of confidence brought on by beer, the fact that he’d won the last two games, and more than a little irritation about his jacket. 

“Wanna bet?” Stevie asked as she broke. A triumphant smile broke across her face as a stripe landed in the middle pocket. She pocketed two more before missing a bank shot.

David took his time lining up for his first shot. He was not going to lose this game. 

Stevie’s eyes widened as he made shot after shot. Something had to be done. 

“Hey, David. Stop for a sec.” 

David stopped and looked at her. He rested the cue stick against his hip. “What? Can’t handle it that I’m two shots away from beating you?”

“No.” Stevie lied. “I just have to pee. And I don’t want you to cheat.” 

She turned and walked towards the bathroom. David watched her walk away—feeling a familiar pull in his gut. ‘What could it hurt?’ He thought to himself. They were both horny and clearly in need of some fun. The kiss they’d shared earlier was weird—awkward and more than a little strained—BUT...given they had no other options maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try again. Stevie was clearly thinking the same thing unless he was completely misreading things and he rarely misread things when it came to sex.

Stevie came back carrying two more beers. “Are you trying to get me drunk?” David asked. 

“What if I am?” Stevie’s voice held a challenge. 

“I’m surprisingly okay with that.” David said taking a long drink.

“Are you?” Stevie asked.

“Yes. I think I am.”

“You think?” 

David reached out hooking his index finger in her belt loop and tugged slightly. Stevie stepped into his space again and David slipped his other hand around her neck-his fingers twining in her hair. “I know I am” he whispered before pulling her in for a kiss. Stevie’s lips opened under his and he slipped the tip of his tongue into her mouth licking in slowly until she tilted her head back a little more and moved her tongue urgently against his. 

Stevie reached her arms under his jacket running her hands up and down his back. 

David shifted his weight forward crowding Stevie against the pool table as their kiss deepened. Stevie moaned into his mouth as she felt him hardening against her hip. 

“Hey you two!” The bartender yelled. It took a minute for them to realize he was talking to them. David pulled back first and looked towards the bar. 

“Yah. You two! Finish your game or get a room.”

Stevie laughed. “Sorry, Nate.”

“Yah, yah, Stevie.” The bartender said as he turned back to another customer.

David looked down at Stevie still wrapped around him—a wave of something unfamiliar nearly knocked him over. Was this affection he was feeling? It had been so long since he’d let himself feel anything other than lust, it was hard to remember what affection for someone even felt like. 

“Uhm.” He swallowed. He suddenly felt a little uncertain about this whole thing. “Stevie?” There was a question in his voice.

Stevie looked up at him and grinned the sexiest most playful grin he’d ever seen. “What?” She asked. 

David pulled her closer and whispered in her ear, “I don’t want to finish this game.”

She pressed her cheek against his chest and said just loud enough for him to hear. “Me either.”

And that was all it took. David stepped away and grabbed her hand pulling her with him to the door. When they got outside he pulled his cell from his back pocket and called a cab for them. He wrapped his arms around Stevie and rested his chin on the top of her head while they waited for the cab.

“What about my car, David?” 

“We’ll come back for it tomorrow.” 

“Okay.” Stevie leaned her head back against David’s chest and he pulled her in tighter. She really was his best friend. He didn’t want to fuck this up again. Maybe they could make it work? 

“Is this a bad idea, David?” Stevie asked as though she had read his thoughts. 

“Probably.” David answered honestly.

“Then what are we doing?”

“Making each other feel good.”

“Is that enough for you?” Stevie asked.

David unwrapped his arms from around her and turned her towards him.

“We can stop right here.” He said. “We don’t have to do anything else. We can just be friends.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” Stevie asked trying to tease but falling a little flat.

“Listen, Stevie.” David started and then stopped. He looked into her beautiful warm eyes and felt like he could stay there forever. “I’m not sure what this is. I haven’t felt this way in a long time. I like being with you. You’re funny. And you get me in a way no one else in this god forsaken place ever could. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

“Then don’t.” Stevie said before tipping her face up to kiss him.

David pulled her closer inhaling the scent of her and slowly feeling something inside himself come loose—just a little—as he gave himself up to their kiss. 

The cab ride back to the motel was quiet. David put his arm along the back seat and Stevie cuddled into him. He thought she might be asleep until her hand found its way between his legs and she started rubbing her thumb lightly against his thigh. He slid his free arm across her belly and up her side. He slowly started rubbing his thumb along the soft curve at the side of her breast. He felt her breath catch and he closed his eyes. The unexpected intimacy of the moment was almost more than he could handle. It had been a long time since he’d felt this safe with someone.


	2. Whatever “This” Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Stevie get back to the motel and David decides that whatever “this is” between them shouldn’t happen when they’re drunk.
> 
> Stevie reluctantly agrees.

David helped Stevie out of the cab, pulled a twenty out of his wallet and handed it through the passenger window to the driver. 

Stevie waited by the door to the “red room” as they had started calling it after they’d watched Fifty Shades of Grey one night when they were stoned. David turned towards her—their eyes met. 

Stevie knew that look. She sighed. “No?”

“No.” David responded. 

“Okay,” Stevie shrugged her shoulders. “Well, goodnight then. I’m staying here anyway since I don’t have a car.”

“Listen, Stevie.”

“No. You don’t have to explain.” Stevie said curtly.

“I think I do. Can I just come in for a minute and we can talk?”

Stevie attempted a laugh. “Well that’s something that doesn’t happen often in the red room.”

David smirked. “Is that a yes?”

“Come on” Stevie replied—the irritation in her voice clearly saying she wished he wouldn’t.

David followed her into the room and turned to close the door while Stevie turned on the lamp beside the bed. He sat down on the edge of the bed and held out his hand to her. 

She looked at it but didn’t take it, crossing her arms across her chest instead. “What do you need to say?” 

David rubbed his palms on his thighs. “Listen. I’m not as drunk as I was, but I’m still buzzed. I don’t want that to be the way we do this.”

“Do what, David? What is it exactly that you think we’re doing?” Stevie blew out her breath like she’d been holding it a little too long. 

David gestured between them. “This. You and me. Me and you. Whatever this is. It can’t just be because we’re both horny and need to get laid. We tried that already.” 

David got up and stood in front of Stevie. He put his hands on her upper arms and looked down at her. He worked his jaw for a minute trying to decide how honest he wanted to be. 

Stevie just waited and watched as a thousand expressions flitted across David’s face. She’d never seen him like this—vulnerable and yet, oddly, in control.

David finally spoke. His voice was soft and he couldn’t meet her gaze. “It nearly broke my heart when you said you wouldn’t move to New York with me.” There, he’d said it. The thing he swore to himself he’d never tell her.

“I nearly broke your heart?” Stevie asked incredulously. “You asked me to be your fucking roommate, David! How do you think that made me feel?”

David was surprised by the hurt in her voice. He could practically feel the anger emanating from her. She hadn’t stepped away from him though. She was still there looking up at him. She was pissed, like really pissed, which meant she was at least partially still in this—whatever “this” was. 

David slowly wrapped his arms around her afraid she might push him away. When she didn’t he gently rubbed his chin against her head. “God, Stevie. I didn’t know what I wanted. I just knew I wanted out. I also knew I didn’t want ‘out’ without you. I wasn’t thinking beyond the next two minutes let alone the next two months or two years.” 

He took a deep breath and then waded in even deeper. “I think in the back of my mind I thought we’d be roommates and then, maybe, we’d go back to being something more.”

Stevie looked at him like she’d never really seen him before. “Why didn’t you just say that?” 

“I don’t know.” David said. “I can’t even begin to tell you how bad I am at this stuff.”

“Oh, I think I’m starting to get a pretty good idea.” Stevie smiled at him brightly, clearly teasing him.

“So now what do we do?”

“I don’t know.” David answered honestly. “But I’m afraid if we do this tonight—if we do it for the wrong reasons—one or both of us is just going to fuck it all up and we will lose each other—but for good this time. I don’t think I could deal with that.”

“So what then? You don’t want to fuck me? Or at least not tonight. So what? Do we go on a date or something?” Stevie said it with such disdain, David couldn’t help but laugh.

“Oh my God, can you imagine?”

“Nope.” Stevie said.

“Me either.”

They stood holding each other for a minute longer before they both broke away. Stevie sat down on the bed. David sat beside her. He reached for her hand again.

“You know...” He started. 

“We could still make out?” Stevie finished his sentence.

“You always could read my mind,” David smiled broadly before wrapping her in his arms again, their lips and tongues finding each other’s. 

It wasn’t until she was straddling David and he’d started tugging her shirt over her head that Stevie came to her senses. She scrambled off of him and pulled her shirt back down.

She grabbed a pillow from the bed and hit him with it. “You suck! Go! Now! Before we do something YOU said” she laughed hitting him again with the pillow right in the groin “you didn’t want to do tonight.”

David doubled over in mock pain and real laughter. “Okay. Okay. I’m going.”

Stevie grabbed his hands and helped him to his feet. She was still smiling, her skin flushed and her hair a messy cloud around her face. David couldn’t resist one more lingering kiss. 

Stevie growled into his mouth and pushed against his chest. “Go!”

David paused at the door. “Rain check for tomorrow night? I promise I’ll stay sober.”

“I’ll think about it.” Stevie said refusing to give in that easily. 

David continued to stand by the door with one hand on the door knob. “What? No goodnight kiss?”

Stevie grabbed the pillow again and threw it at him. “Out!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may end up being a slow burn on many fronts. I’m kind of enjoying seeing these two evolve into something more mature that maybe, just maybe, will survive and become something neither could have imagined.


	3. Taking it Slow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Stevie find time in the light of day to think about their next steps.

Stevie looked up from the game of solitaire she was playing, David was standing in the door to the Motel office holding a coffee cup from the cafe.

“Here, I thought you might need it this morning.” He handed her the cup. 

Stevie glanced at her watch and rolled her eyes. “It’s 1 o’clock. Pretty sure this no longer qualifies as morning. But thank you.”

David shrugged his shoulders and drummed his hands on the counter. Stevie looked at him and smirked. “Was there something else you needed?”

David narrowed his eyes and stared at her. “I just brought you a gift. A little more appreciation might be nice.”

Stevie swirled the coffee cup in the air. “It’s coffee, David. How much thanks do you need?” She asked as David slowly walked around the counter towards her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Stevie just kept talking. “Now if this were 20-year old scotch whiskey I could probably demonstrate some real appreciation.”

“I’ll try to remember that for next time.” David said looking from Stevie’s eyes to her lips where he let his gaze linger. She looked quickly behind him, leaned up and gave him a quick kiss before stepping away from him. “Not here!”

David crossed his arms in front of him. “Why not here?”

“I’d prefer that we just keep this between us for now.”

“Oh.” David’s face registered surprise and then guilt. “Umm...”

“You already told Alexis didn’t you?” Stevie said, clearly annoyed.

David waved his hands palms up—“I didn’t KNOW it was some dirty secret! We haven’t even done anything yet.”

Stevie laughed at him. “Well, if Alexis knows everyone knows. You might as well kiss me then.” She stepped towards him, tilted her face up and closed her eyes waiting to be kissed.

David let her wait. 

Stevie opened her eyes. “Well, that was rude.”

David grinned before capturing her lips in a tantalizingly sweet kiss. Stevie wrapped her arms around him and pulled him towards her deepening the kiss into something more. 

“DaaaVID. There you are.” Moira’s said as though she was completely unaware that she’d stumbled into what was quickly becoming an r-rated kiss. “Oh, hello, Stevie. It’s lovely to see you dear.” Stevie looked like she wanted to crawl into a hole. “Hello, Mrs. Rose.”

David hadn’t taken his eyes off of Stevie. He was amused by the blush that had crept up her cheeks. “Was there something you wanted, mother? We’re kind of busy.”

“Don’t be such a dirigible to your hormones, David,” Moira said. “I would like you to accompany me to the local shop. Stevie I hope you won’t think me rude if I whisk David away for a brief respite across the lane?”

“No, no. Mrs. Rose. That’s fine.”

“Thank you dear.” Moira twined her arm through David’s. “David, shall we?”

“Text me before you leave tonight?” David asked. 

Stevie chewed the inside of her lip. “Maybe,” she teased.

Moira smiled at her almost as though she’d just now realized she was even in the room. “That’s it dear. Don’t make this too easy for him. Our David loves a challenge.”

“Oh my God!” David’s voice rose an octave. “Let’s go.”

********

Stevie:  
I’m leaving now.

David:  
Wait!

Stevie:  
Why?

David:  
I have gifts.

Stevie:  
For me?

David:  
Yes

Stevie:  
U hv 2 min

David tossed his phone on the bed and grabbed the shopping bag that was sitting by the door. “Be right back” he said before he remembered Alexis wasn’t home.

Stevie was standing by her car. She looked at David with a mixture of irritation and affection on her face.

“Here,” David handed her the shopping bag.

“What is this?”

“Nothing, really. Just a token.”

“Oh really? A token of what?”

David let his eyes wander over Stevie’s body. “My appreciation?” His voice rose in a question at the end.

“You really aren’t very good at this whole flirting thing, are you?”

“Why does that matter when I’m so good at other, erm, more important things?” David asked twisting his index finger lightly in her hair.

Stevie paused for a minute as though considering his question. David cupped her chin with his other hand brushing his thumb across her cheek. Stevie closed her eyes and leaned her face into his palm.

David pulled her into his arms and kissed her.

When they pulled apart, Stevie was breathing heavily. She looked up at him eyes wide. “Do you want to come home with me tonight?” Stevie asked.

David brushed his lips back and forth on the top of her head. “Desperately. Which is why I’m not going to.”

Stevie pulled back and looked up at him. “I get that.”

“Do you?” David asked.

Stevie paused for a moment collecting her thoughts. “I think so. This isn’t just about getting laid this time. I’m good to take it slow.”

David had never known anyone who was willing to take it slow with him. His mouth found hers and they made out standing in front of her car for what felt like hours until Stevie gently pushed against his chest. David just tightened his hold. “David,” Stevie said twisting her mouth away from his. “You have two choices—come home with me—which I know you don’t want to do—or meet me for breakfast before my shift tomorrow.”

David groaned. “Breakfast? Really.” 

“Yes. Really.”

David kissed her again, gentler this time but with no less longing. “What time?” He murmured.

“7.”

“Oh, my God.” David buried his face in Stevie’s neck. Finally, he took a deep breath, untangled their arms and stepped back. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Stevie couldn’t resist peaking in the bag David had given her on her way home. There was a bottle of scotch on top with a black ribbon tied around it. At the bottom of the bag were three identically sized packages wrapped in plain brown paper. ‘Damn’ she thought. ‘I’ll have to wait until I get home.’

When she pulled into the parking lot at her apartment she immediately pulled the bag into her lap and tore into one of the brown paper bags. “What the fuck?” she said to no one in particular. Inside the package was a small bag of wheat flour. She opened the next package—white flour. The third contained cake flour. 

She pulled out her cell phone and texted David.

??????! WTAF?!

David responded immediately.  
So it’s not twenty-year’s old. At least it’s scotch. 

Stevie responded  
I’m not talking about the scotch!

David took a minute longer to respond this time. Stevie waited impatiently tapping her steering wheel.

What? You didn’t like the flours?

OMFG —-eyeroll emoji

Stevie’s phone rang. David.

“Yes?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Real flowers would have been way too...”

“Corny?” Stevie supplied.

“I was going to say cliche, but we can use corny, I guess,” David laughed.

“Well, I sincerely hope you aren’t expecting me to make you something with this!” Stevie replied.

“It hadn’t even crossed my mind.” David lied. He’d secretly been hoping Stevie at least knew how to make pancakes. “You can donate them to the food bank. I just wanted you to know I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

“Hmmm. Well that’s interesting. I’ve been thinking of you too.” Stevie said.

“Oh yah? What have you been thinking?” David asked.

“Naughty things I probably shouldn’t be thinking given we’ve never even been on a date.” Stevie joked only half teasing.

“Okay. For the record, you made fun of me last night when I was about to suggest we go on a date.” David said.

“I did not make fun of you...I’m the one who brought it up.” Stevie listened to David sort of squawking into his phone. She was positively gleeful. David Rose caught off guard—this was delicious. 

David finally found his voice. “Don’t be a little B—you know the tone of voice you used! I would have felt like an idiot if I’d asked you out on a date after the way you said it!”

“Well, should we?” Stevie asked pretending to sound apologetic and failing miserably.

“Why Miss Stevie Bud,” David adopted a playful southern accent. “Are you asking me out on a date?” 

“Yes, Mr. Rose, I think I would like to go on a date with you.” The instant she said it, she knew it was the wrong thing to say. 

She burst out laughing just as David exclaimed. “Ew, Stevie! I can’t believe you just said that.” 

David shuddered one more time and then looked at his fingernails. “Where do you want to go? Please don’t say the Wobbly Elm again!”

“How about a movie?” Stevie asked.

David paused. He’d just given most of his paycheck to his Dad because of the damn milk fiasco. “We could do that next weekend if you want to.” 

“How about the dollar theater tomorrow night—they’re showing a Judy Garland double feature.” Stevie said. “My treat!” She added. 

“You don’t have to do that, Stevie.” David said a slight edge in his voice. He hated that something as simple as a movie was still out of reach. 

“Well I am the one who brought up going on a date in the first place—it’s only fair I pay,” Stevie said. Her statement was met by silence. 

“Unless,” Stevie added, “you’re going to go all heteronormative on me—in which case we should probably just be friends—because that shit will piss me off.”

David took a deep breath and smiled. He hated that she knew him well enough to push his buttons. ‘Hereto-fucking-normative, my ass,’ he thought. “I do love Judy Garland.”

“I know you do, so is that a yes?” Stevie asked.

“It’s a date.” David said smiling into the phone.


	4. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David’s and Stevie’s date night doesn’t go as planned. They take the next step in their relationship and angst ensues. Stevie has an unexpected proposal for David.

David:  
Leaving now. Should be there in 25 minutes, unless you’ve changed your mind.

Stevie:  
K. See you in 25 minutes.

David:  
Really? You could be here in 25 minutes!

Stevie:  
I’m not driving to Elmdale TWICE by myself. 

David:  
So instead I get to do it FOUR times? 

Stevie:  
We’ve already discussed this. Come on up when you get here.

David:  
Fine. But you’re buying me dinner AND popcorn.

Stevie:  
Planned on it. Now get your gorgeous ass back here!

David was only marginally irritated. He didn’t really want to drive home after a double feature by himself either. He just needed to give Stevie a hard time. Thank God he had the rental car Wendy had got for him. She was a piece of work but she was growing on him. 

“Stevie,” David called as he opened the door.

“In here,” Stevie answered. 

David followed the sound of her voice to the back of the apartment, “You really should lock your...” his voice trailed off when he saw Stevie standing in her bathroom, a short towel wrapped around her petite form. She was rubbing another towel vigorously through her hair. The swell of her breasts rising every time she raised her arm to reach another part of her head.

“It’s Schitt’s Creek, David, no one locks their doors,” Stevie said leaning up to kiss David on the cheek. 

“Umm...what?” David asked.

Stevie smirked. “You’re such a guy sometimes.”

She skirted past him and walked to her bed where she’d laid out her clothes for the night. She grabbed them and slid behind the old-fashioned dressing screen standing in the corner of her apartment. Whether she knew it or not, her backside was not completely hidden from view. 

David allowed himself to look for a moment before clearing his throat and looking the other way.

Stevie leaned out from behind the panel, the curve of her breast barely visible behind her elbow. She gave him a teasing smile. “If being in the same room with me naked is too much of an issue for you, you can wait downstairs you know.”

David stared defiantly at her for a moment before letting his eyes travel down her shoulder. He smirked back at her. “I’m just fine, thanks.”

Stevie grinned and popped back behind the panel. 

“Hurry up though!” David said. “I’m hungry.”

“Okay, okay.” Stevie said coming out from behind the panel. Her shirt was partially unbuttoned and David caught a glimpse of a black lace bra under her ever-present flannel. She flopped down on the bed and started pulling on her socks. “Grab my boots from the closet will you?”

David did as he was told. When he got to her closet he sighed heavily—three of his designer sweaters were hanging on wire hangers—which was beyond incorrect. He shook his head but tried to let it slide. 

He grabbed one black boot and reached down into the back of the closet to find the other one. He started to turn back, but simply could not leave his sweaters hanging like that. He carefully pulled them off the hangers, folded them, and reached up to put them on the top shelf. The sweatshirt he was wearing rode up a little as he stretched. At that moment, he felt Stevie’s hands glide across his skin under the hem of his sweatshirt, her arms reaching around him from behind. She leaned her head against his back and let her fingers drift lightly over the hair on his belly.

David closed his eyes and leaned back against her enjoying the feel of her hands flitting above the waist band of his jeans. He could feel the softness of her breasts against his back and the unfortunate moistness of her still-wet hair which was dampening the back of his sweatshirt. 

He placed his hands over hers and twisted in her arms. He released Stevie’s hands and rested his own on the curves of her hips. Stevie’s eyes met his and he knew they wouldn’t be seeing a movie tonight. And dinner? Well, that could wait.

Their mouths collided in a frantic, deep kiss, teeth clanking together, tongues lapping wildly into each other’s mouths. Stevie’s hands found David’s ass and David’s hands found the front clasp on Stevie’s bra releasing her small but perfect breasts. He rubbed his thumbs over her nipples until they formed tight buds and she moaned into his mouth. 

David dropped his hands back down to her hips and lifted her off her feet. Stevie instinctively wrapped her arms tightly around David’s neck and wrapped her legs around his waist. David slid his hands under her thighs holding her in place as he walked the short distance to the bed. 

He lowered Stevie’s hips onto the bed and shifted his knee between her legs as he lowered the rest of her onto the mattress. Stevie let her arms fall away on either side of her head while David reached for the button on her jeans. She lifted her waist to make it easier for him to pull her jeans off. David grinned broadly when he realized she wasn’t wearing any underwear. 

“Going commando are we?” David asked one eyebrow quirked lifted in pleased amusement.

“Thank you Matt LeBlanc for that indelible pop culture reference,” Stevie quipped. As soon as her jeans were off, she surged up into David again pushing his sweatshirt up trying to get it off of him.

He slapped her hand away playfully. “Down girl. You’re going to stretch it.”

Stevie leaned back onto the bed resting on her elbows. She watched as David pulled the sweatshirt over his head admiring how cut he was under the bulky knit. He turned away slightly to drape the garment over the back of a chair. Seeing the muscles rippling across his back was more than Stevie could stand. She scrambled back onto her knees and splayed her hands across his back kissing and biting her way up. 

She molded herself to his back and reached her arms around his stomach. She let her hands roam down the front of his thighs enjoying the musculature under the tight denim jeans he was wearing. She slowly unbuttoned his jeans and reached a hand below the waistband. “Holy fuck” she whispered when she felt how hard he was. She bit down hard on his shoulder when she realized David had also gone commando for the evening. David let her hands wander while he leaned into the feeling of her wet hair and taut nipples brushing against his back. 

He started giggling when he realized she was swearing under her breath as she struggled to push his skinny jeans off of him. He turned towards her finally. “Let me,” he said, hooking his thumbs into his waistband and sliding his jeans straight down in one fluid, practiced motion.

“Show off,” Stevie pouted. 

David sat on the edge of the bed, wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her breathless. Breaking away, he smiled and said, “Yes, but getting them off my feet is truly embarrassing and graceless.” He proceeded to awkwardly demonstrate exactly what he’d meant.

Stevie was dying. “Oh, my God, David,” she gasped laughing and holding her belly, “That was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen!”

“Oh shut up,” David grinned at her before shifting his weight suddenly laying fully on top of her. 

“Oh,” Stevie managed to eek out before his mouth found hers again. His tongue danced into her mouth licking and tasting every crevice. 

Stevie felt the weight and hardness of him between her legs and realized how fucking bad she needed this. Ever since they’d kissed for the second time at the bar the other night and the many times in the two days since then, she’d been thinking of little else. She’d masturbated several times over the past two days and it barely took the edge off. 

David shifted slightly and slid his hand between them. He circled her clit with his index finger before sliding it down further. Stevie arched her hips against his hand inviting him deeper. 

He groaned into her mouth before tearing his lips away. “Jesus. You are so fucking wet” he rested his forehead against hers. 

“That would be entirely your fault,” Stevie said sounding pleased with herself. She reluctantly pulled his hand away and twisted away from him to reach into the drawer by her bed. “Here,” she said handing David the condom.

“You do it,” he said. “I’m gonna be a little busy.” 

Stevie let out a startled “Oh!” as David suddenly rolled Stevie’s hip away from him, slid an arm under her leg and ass and lifted her to his lips so easily she was barely aware of what was happening as he gently separated her with one finger of his free hand and plunged his tongue where his fingers had been just a few moments earlier.

Stevie fell back on the bed with one arm across her eyes. “Fuck me,” she murmured to herself. David looked up at her flushed faced and had to grab himself and squeeze to keep from coming just from the sight and taste of her. 

When her swearing became more intense and her thighs started to quiver. David stopped the exquisite movement of his tongue and gently lowered her ass back to the bed. Stevie whined pitifully. 

“Shhhhh,” David said running his thumb across her lips. Stevie grabbed his hand and pulled his index finger into her mouth. 

“Oh, my...fuck” was all David could get out. She grinned at him wickedly around his finger. 

“Serves you right” she said after she’d sucked enough of herself off his finger. “You’re a fucking tease.”

David pulled his hand away and made a show of wiping his finger off on the sheet before picking up the condom packet. He expertly tore it open and held it between them. “Am I doing this or are you?”

Stevie pushed lightly at his shoulders. Taking the hint, David laid back on the bed. Stevie dropped the open condom wrapper onto his chest and slid down between David’s legs. “Payback’s a bitch” she teased before taking him fully into her mouth. 

David tried to keep his hips still but holy shit she didn’t make it easy. Stevie finally pulled off of him and hurriedly grabbed for the condom package. She was nothing if not efficient and quickly had it on him. She was equally efficient about straddling David and lowering herself onto him. 

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the multiple sensations of David’s hands on her hips, his dick inside her, the sounds of their labored breathing as they rocked together, and the faint scent of vanilla and tobacco that she always associated with David. 

They were actually doing this. She was fucking David, this guy who had changed her world, who had made it way more interesting than she could have ever imagined. Stevie came just as she realized she was fucking the only person who had ever really meant something to her. She had just fucked her best friend; this amazing, funny, beautiful human being who cared about her. 

And just like that, everything went sideways. She watched David finally let himself go and all she felt was guilt. She knew she was going to end up hurting him—she wouldn’t mean to but she would. She knew she was going to fuck this all up and she felt like she could barely breath. 

She clambered off of David as soon as she knew he was finished. She was sobbing. David’s eyes flew open in shock. 

“What’s wrong? Oh my God, Stevie, did I hurt you?” David asked panic rising in his voice. He had felt it—he knew something had changed the minute she came. He should have stopped. “Oh fuck, Stevie. I’m so sorry.”

David tried to wrap his arms around her but she pushed him away. Stevie was sobbing and shaking her head. “Stevie,” David tried again. “I’m so sorry if I hurt you. I didn’t...I wasn’t...oh fuck.”

Stevie reached out and grabbed David wrapping herself around him. “I’m so sorry, David. You didn’t hurt me. I’m fine.”

David pulled her in tighter. He was so fucking confused. He didn’t know what else to do. This had never happened to him before. “Shhhh....” he held Stevie and slowly rocked them back and forth. “I don’t understand...” he started to say.

“David, I’m sorry. I’m fine. But this was a mistake.” Stevie said.

David’s entire body tensed. He instantly tried to pull away as every horrible thing he’d ever thought about himself came crashing in on him. Stevie tightened her hold on him. “Please don’t. Stay.”

David was present enough to fight his flight instinct but he still pulled back slightly. He reached his thumb up and brushed the tears away from Stevie’s face with shaky hands. He’d never seen her like this. Not even when she was mad at him for leaving. Not even when she apologized for flirting with Grant just to make him mad. 

“Why was this a mistake?” He tried and failed to keep the hurt out of his voice. He thought he was doing pretty damn good just to still be in the room. 

“I don’t know, David.” Stevie said feeling cornered. “It just was.”

“Nope. No. You don’t get to do that.” David was surprised at how even his voice sounded. “Either tell me why you think this was a mistake or I’m leaving.”

Stevie looked at him for a long minute. Too long because David stood up and started to reach for his sweatshirt and pants. 

“Okay, have it your way,” he said sarcastically. How the fuck did this happen? He felt tears starting to drift down his face but he refused to wipe them away. He didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. 

“Wait!” Stevie said reaching for his hand. 

Something in her voice made David turn back towards her. He looked at her coldly; at the tears streaming down her face, at her naked little body huddled into itself and his heart broke for the thousandth time. It broke for her, for him, for what they would never have. He sat on the bed and pulled her into his arms both of them sobbing. 

“I love you so much,” Stevie whispered. “Which is why I can’t...”

“I know,” David tried to catch his breath in between the sobs that threatened to overtake him. “I know. I know, I know.” He said it over and over and over again as much to soothe himself as Stevie. He held her in his arms and stroked her hair. 

And he did know. Inexplicably he knew. He’d been willing to try again, and who knows, maybe they could have made it work for a few months, but in the end, one or both of them would fuck it up. They were too much alike. 

David had never been especially good at monogamy. He complained a lot that he was usually the last person to know he was in an open relationship, but he knew himself. He knew he liked sex. A lot. He knew enough about Stevie to know that monogamy probably wasn’t her strong suit either. And yet if they did this thing, if they tried to make it work, he knew they would fail. And they would never be friends again. He couldn’t let that happen. 

Stevie watched as what she’d realized (at a really fucking inconvenient time) played itself out on David’s face. His eyebrows knit together and his forehead furrowed. He shook his head in some last internal denial. He worked his jaw and she could see the tension there finally release as he met her gaze. 

“So now what?” David asked.

“Move in with me?” Stevie asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted them to try again and decided Stevie needed to be the one to end it. I love David and didn’t want him to get hurt again but there is this weird protectiveness of Stevie in the fandom—everyone thinks she’s still in love with him. I don’t know if Dan or Emily have ever addressed it specifically, but they have said they are best friends. That’s the relationship I need them to have.


	5. Friends Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Stevie’s bombshell of a question, she and David have an important conversation about their future together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is not sexy but necessary to cement the relationship we all know Stevie and David have. This will continue to be fairly canon compliant but they will have some fun (and probably awkward) times ahead (Jake will make an appearance or two) that could only happen as roommates.

“What?!” David’s voice rose about five octaves.

Stevie laughed so hard at his reaction she snorted. 

David was not amused. He knew he was clearly missing something here but he couldn’t figure out what.

“Listen. I’m serious. We obviously can’t do this,” Stevie gestured between them looking down. It wasn’t until that moment that she realized she was sitting there completely naked. “Oh shit! Hang on.” She jumped up and grabbed the robe hanging on a hook by the bed. 

David was completely flummoxed but at least wasn’t feeling the weight of ever single rejection he’d ever experienced sitting on his shoulders anymore. 

He watched her pull the robe around her and then realized he was naked too. “I’ll be right back.” He said grabbing his sweatshirt and scooping up his jeans. 

When David came back from the bathroom, he was dressed and feeling more confused than ever. He stood hesitantly by the refrigerator. Stevie was fully dressed and sitting at her kitchen table. She had her feet propped up on the other chair and held the bottle of scotch David had bought her in her hand. She moved her feet and kicked the chair away from the table. 

“Sit,” she said gesturing with the bottle to the chair and then taking a swig. 

David ignored her command, stepping past the chair and grabbing a glass from the cupboard by the sink. He took the scotch from Stevie. He looked at it pointedly and grabbed a towel wiping the top of the bottle. “I know where your mouth has been,” he said when Stevie raised an eyebrow at him. His attempt at humor felt half-hearted but he felt like one of them should say something. 

He poured himself several shots worth into the glass, sighed and sat down. He looked at the floor for several long moments taking a sip or two from his glass. 

Stevie knew she’d shocked him and wasn’t sure how to explain why she thought being roommates now would be any better than it would have been before. 

They both found their voices at the same time. “Listen,” Stevie started to say, while David started with “Why in the fuck...” 

They both stopped talking. 

Then they both started again.

“David, I think this could work.” Stevie said. David had started over, “Why in the fuck would you want me to move in with you?” 

They both said, “what?” at the same time.

David gestured for Stevie to talk while he took another drink.

Stevie took a deep breath and said again. “I think we could make this work, David. Not that,” she gestured towards the bed, “This,” she waved her hand between them. “You and me as roommates. You’re my best friend, David. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t fuck you but I like being around you. You get me.”

David opened his mouth and then closed it again. This was all just a little too weird. He really didn’t know what to say. He didn’t even know how long he was going to have to stay in Schitt’s Creek. 

As if reading his mind, Stevie said, “We clearly won’t be roommates forever, but until you all sell the town or figure a way out of here, it could be fun. Imagine the game nights we could have.”

David’s eyes lit up at the thought. 

“And you wouldn’t have to share a room with Alexis anymore.” Stevie added.

David looked around the room. “I can’t move in here—the lack of closest space would inevitably force me to move out. And I’m not sure sharing a bed is a great idea. Like you said, I am such a guy sometimes.”

Stevie laughed at that. “Yes, you are. I was actually thinking of Carl’s place.”

“Ew, Fuck,” David recoiled. “Didn’t Carl die in that house?”

“So?” Stevie shrugged, “Nana Bud died at the hotel and you sleep there.”

David groaned and put his head in his hands. “I really wish you hadn’t told me that.”

“It has three bedrooms, it’s cheap, AND you would have your own bathroom.” Stevie said knowing David would have a hard time refusing that. 

“Alexis would kill me if I move into that house without her.” David thought about that for a moment and grinned. He could live with that.

“But, umm, how would this work if one of us started dating or something?” David asked.

Stevie’s look wavered between fondness and amusement. “Why don’t you just ask what you’re really thinking? You wanna know what happens if one or both of us just wants to get laid again?” 

David shrugged his shoulders. “I guess.”

Stevie leaned over and cupped David’s face with her hand. “I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want a repeat of tonight.” She looked David in the eyes and he looked back at her shaking his head adamantly no. 

“So we agree. We can’t do this again, David,” Stevie continued. “I care too much about you and I know one of us would eventually fuck everything up. I think we just make a pact, right here right now that we will never try this again—no matter how horny or lonely either of us gets.”

“Or stoned?” David added.

“Or stoned,” Stevie agreed. 

“I’m willing to look at the place again,” David said.”But I get the third bedroom for my closet.”

Stevie smiled knowing she’d won. 

She stood up and took David’s glass from him. “Let’s go get some pizza. I’m starving.”

As she started for the door David grabbed her hand. “I need you to promise me something.” He said softly.

Stevie tried to read his face but he was doing a good job masking whatever it was he was feeling which was unusual for David. “Uhmmm, okay,” she said.

“Promise you’ll always be my friend?” David whispered not meeting her gaze. 

Stevie’s heart broke just a little for him in that moment. She gently pulled her hand from his and twisted their pinky fingers together, “I’ll pinky swear it if you will.”

David’s eyes flicked up to meet hers and his face broke into a wide, lopsided grin. He’d felt like a frightened boy asking her to promise to always be his friend and she had responded in kind. This was why they got each other. 

“I pinky promise,” David said tightening his pinky’s grip around Stevie’s. In his whole life David had never once broken a pinky promise and he didn’t intend to start now.


	6. Moira’s Nudes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during during season 2, episode 9. This chapter finds David and Stevie about a month after they’ve moved in together. Stevie gets laid and David deals with some unexpected jealousy.

D: Heads up! U shld avoid my mother today. 

S: why?

D: U don’t want to know

S: k 

D: I should be able to leave work on time tonight. Dinner?

S: who else am I gonna have dinner with? 

D: cya

Stevie and David had been roommates for a little over a month. David still hadn’t moved all his stuff over yet which is how he’d ended up at the motel and learned more about his mother’s “tasteful nudes” phase than he ever wanted to. She was still pissed at him for helping Jocelyn with an outfit for the campaign so he didn’t have much choice but to do as she asked and look for nude pictures of her on the internet—something that would no doubt scar him for life—maybe more than walking in on his parents having sex before he moved out of the hotel. Thank God nothing came up using the searches she gave him—especially the one about the Siamese eels.

Wendy was being kind of weird at the store, but that wasn’t entirely unusual. Alexis was floundering around since breaking up with first Ted and now Mutt. it was seriously annoying how men just flocked around her. And now his mother had this stupid notion to run for the town council. What was it with the women in his life making bad decisions? At least he could count on Stevie. 

They had settled into a routine where they barely spoke in the mornings but had dinner together most nights. Given that the place was fully furnished they hadn’t had to do too much to it. Stevie deferred the few decorating decisions they needed to make to David. 

They hadn’t figured out when to have their house-warming party yet, mostly for fear that Alexis would turn it into a repeat of the hotel party inviting all sorts of unsavory townies who wouldn’t possess the qualifications necessary for a proper game night. David and Stevie were agreed on that—they knew they wanted a games night but were trying to decide on the guest list—people who would bring the right level of competition but who would ultimately lose. Stevie likened it to inviting a semi-decent football team to homecoming. They might score a touchdown or two, she’d said, but everyone knew they wouldn’t be a real threat. David, of course, didn’t really understand the analogy but agreed with the premise on principle. The key to any good games night was to invite people who were competitive enough to think they might have a shot at beating the hosts but who clearly did not stand a chance. 

So far they’d also managed not to try to get into each other’s pants despite the fact that they were two attractive adults living in close proximity to one another. 

Stevie had taken the master bedroom with the en suite bath so at least she wasn’t regularly traipsing around the house half naked. David, on the other hand, did have a short hallway between his room and the second bathroom, but hadn’t ventured out in anything too compromising. In fact, they were both on their best behavior which seemed oddly formal, but they were starting to relax a little. The real test would be if one of them started dating someone, which so far, hadn’t happened.

When David got home, he was surprised Stevie wasn’t there yet. He popped the burger he’d picked up for her onto a plate and put it in the oven to keep it warm.

He went to his room, changed into sweats and a t-shirt, and settled in on the couch with his laptop.

By 7:30 Stevie still wasn’t home. David pulled out his phone and sent her a text.

D: U ok?

He waited a few minutes and got no response. He decided to text Alexis.

D: Is Stevie still around there?

Alexis wrote back almost immediately. That was one advantage of the fact she wasn’t seeing anyone at the moment. 

A: No. She left early today.

‘That’s odd,’ David thought. 

He texted Stevie again. 

D: I ate your burger so U should get something to eat.

He saw the three little dots appear and released a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. 

S: Ok. No worries. I already ate. 

David tossed his phone on the couch, trying and failing not to be annoyed. He went and turned off the oven, took the hardened bun off the burger and threw it in the trash. He grabbed some ketchup and mustard from the fridge and doused the patty. He carried it back to the living room and picked up his phone again. Nope, no more texts. 

It was after ten when David decided to lock up for the evening. He hoped Stevie had her key but honestly it would serve her right if she didn’t. Her and her ‘it’s Schitt’s Creek—no one locks their doors.’ He looked at the light switch for the porch light and left it in the “off” position. She could fumble around in the dark after standing him up for dinner.

After finishing up his skin care regimen, David went back to the kitchen to get a glass of water. He walked all the way back across the house to his room before doubling back and switching the porch light on. Maybe she’d get attacked by moths. 

David laid in bed for a long time before falling asleep. His brain kept bouncing back and forth between his mother’s campaign, Alexis’ new job at Ted’s, Wendy’s weirdness, and worrying about Stevie. If he was being honest with himself, which he rarely was, he was legitimately worried about all four of the women in his life at the moment—he was convinced they were all making really poor choices. Of course as a feminist he would never tell them that, but it was true. 

David was startled awake around 2AM by the sound of something crashing. He jumped out of bed terrified that someone had broken into the hotel. Then, remembering where he was, he stopped to listen for a minute. He heard Stevie’s full-throated laugh and a deep, rumbling chuckle. 

David opened his bedroom door a crack. “Stevie,” he called, “everything okay?”

He heard her whisper, “Shit” and then she giggled. Then he heard her say “stop doing that,” and then she giggled again. Then he heard the deeper voice saying “you don’t really want me to stop do you?”

David raised an eyebrow. ‘Okay, then,’ he thought to himself. ‘Clearly drunk and clearly not alone.’ 

“Stevie?” He called again. “You alright?”

This time Stevie answered him, “Yep. Everything’s fine. Sorry we woke you.”

‘We? Who the fuck is we?’ David wondered. He felt a surge of jealousy and had to stop himself from marching into the kitchen to see who this “we” was. “Well fuck,” David said out loud as he sat down on the end of his bed. ‘Maybe this was a really bad idea,’ he thought to himself.

David didn’t get much more sleep that night and decided he might as well get up early to get some work done before Wendy got to the store. 

When David got home he was surprised to see Stevie’s car already in the driveway.

“Hi!” She said brightly as he walked in the door. “I got pizza. Want some?”

David wasn’t sure how to respond. She was acting like last night hadn’t even happened. 

“Umm. I grabbed something on my way home. I wasn’t sure if we were having dinner tonight.” David refused to let her off the hook just because she’d bought pizza. He hadn’t even texted her during the day which was the first day they’d gone without texting in months. 

“Uh, yah.” Stevie said looking down sheepishly. 

‘At least she’s got the sense to apologize,’ David thought.

“I’m not sorry about last night,” Stevie said almost as though reading his mind. “I mean I AM sorry that I didn’t text you. But I’m not going to apologize for getting laid.” 

“I didn’t ask you to, did I?” David said not bothering to hide the bite in his voice. 

“No, but you were thinking it,” Stevie shot back. 

David opened his mouth to say something else and then closed it again. She was right. That was exactly what he’d been thinking. 

“Listen, David,” Stevie said crossing her arms and looking at him. “Get some pizza and come in the living room. We need to talk.” With that Stevie picked up her plate, grabbed her beer and walked out of the room.

David put both hands on his face, “What the fuck just happened?” He said looking around the room. His eyes landed on the pizza box. He lifted a corner of the box with his index finger and smelled the lovely aroma of dough and cheese and pepperoni wafting out. Realizing she’d bought his favorite kind, he sighed and grabbed a plate.

He walked into the room tearing a piece off with his teeth. He stood across the room from Stevie. “So talk,” he mumbled around a mouthful of pizza. 

Stevie patted the couch next to her. David rolled his eyes and sat in the chair across from her. 

“Wanna know what your mom said to me today?” Stevie asked.

“I can only imagine,” David replied. “Is this really what we need to talk about?”

Stevie looked at him nonplussed. “She told me to take a thousand naked pictures of myself.” 

David had no idea where this was going. So he just shoved more pizza in his mouth and chewed, waiting for whatever Stevie was going to say next.

“She also told me I have tiny boobies,” Stevie said.

“What?!” David squealed. Whatever he was expecting it certainly wasn’t this. His eyes immediately went to Stevie’s breasts.

“Ugh! You are SUCH a guy!” Stevie said picking up a pillow and throwing at him. 

The tension David had been feeling vanished and was instantly replaced by dueling emotions—he was mortified by his mother’s comments and utterly amused thinking about what Stevie’s reaction must have been.

“She also called me spooky.”

“Well...” David said grinning at her, “she has a point there.”

“Oh, shut up!” Stevie said laughing.

“So is that what ‘Mr. I have a deep sexy voice’ was doing here last night?” David asked. “Taking a thousand naked pictures.”

“Actually, I only let him take one,” Stevie deadpanned.

“So who is he?” David asked not sure he really wanted to hear the answer but knowing he needed to.

“Just a guy I know,” Stevie said. “We see each other once in awhile.”

“For sex,” David added.

“Yes. For sex.” 

Suddenly a terrible image crossed David’s mind. “Oh, fuck,” He groaned. “Please just tell me it’s not Grant.”

“Ew! No! Give me a little credit, please!” Stevie looked at David. “You going to be okay with this?”

“What?” David said trying to keep his tone light, “You bringing randoms home and waking me up in the middle of the night?”

“So, yah. I’m sorry about the waking you up thing. I’ll try not to do that very often—that was rude of me. But yes, the randoms thing—maybe once in awhile.”

David considered her question before answering. “Eventually.” He answered honestly. “Are you going to be okay with that?”

Stevie stood up and took David’s plate from him. She leaned down and kissed the top of his head. “Yes. I’m okay with that.”

When she came back in the living room David was sitting on the sofa. She sat down next to him and laid her head on his shoulder. “I love you, David Rose.”

David leaned his head against hers. “I know you do.”


	7. Moths and Butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stevie and David finally have their housewarming party. Stevie learns about one of David’s fears.

The next several weeks passed without incident. David and Stevie finally had a games night to “warm” their new house. They beat their competition easily but everyone still had a good time. Alexis, as it turned out, had a test the next day and couldn’t stay late.

As she closed the door after everyone finally left, Stevie turned to David and said, “you knew about Alexis’ test, right?”

David smirked.

“I was wondering why you wanted to do this on a weeknight. This suddenly all makes sense.”

“It worked though. We won, there were no raucous townies...”

Stevie squinted her eyes at him and pulled her chin back like she always did when he’d said something annoying...”I’m sorry? Did you just use the word raucous?”

David bit his lower lip and nodded his head.

“Be very careful of what you say next. Remember I’m a townie.” Stevie said a little defensively.

“Yah, don’t think I could forget that,” David teased.

Stevie handed him the trash bag she’d pulled out of the kitchen garbage can. “Just for that, you can take out the trash.”

David looked horrified. “It’s dark outside!”

“So?”

“So the bins are on the other side of the garage!”

“So turn on the yard light!”

A look of sheer terror crossed David’s face. He couldn’t think of what to say to get out of this but he also was not prepared to face his greatest fear either. Stevie was still staring at him.

“Can you do it?”

“David! What is wrong with you? I know you’re not really this lazy.”

“Don’t be so sure,” David quipped. He’d rather she think he was lazy than tell her the truth.

“Just take the bag David. I’ll start on the dishes.”

“Wow!” David saw his out. “Aren’t you just playing into gender stereotypes?”

Stevie put her hands on her hips. “I‘ve seen how you wash dishes. I’d like to not eat tonight’s leftovers on my supposedly clean fork tomorrow.”

“That was ONE time!”

“One time too many. Now go!”Stevie pushed the bag into his chest.

“Ew! This is a good sweater!”

“Aren’t they all?” Stevie said turning away. She started running water in the sink.

David took a deep breath and then decided he’d use the flashlight on his phone instead of turning on the yard light.

He was about halfway across the lawn when the floodlights above the garage flipped on. ‘Fuck!’ He’d forgotten they were motion activated. He sort of skip-ran the rest of the way to the bins hurtling the bag into one as fast as he could. Then he froze. There were moths flying all around the flood lights. He looked towards the house and there were what looked like thousands of them attacking the porch light.

Stevie saw him from the kitchen window. ‘What is he doing?’ She wondered. She saw him looking at his phone and texting someone—then her phone buzzed.

D: Turn off the fucking porch light!

Stevie watched the notification pop up but didn’t respond to text—her hands were all soapy. She kept washing the dishes.

David waited as long as he could stand it—a whole thirty seconds before he texted her again.

D: Please!

Stevie saw the text and sighed. She grabbed a dish towel and dried her hands. She walked to the front door and stood on the porch. “What are you doing?”

“Turn off the fucking porch light,” David answered back, a little too loud and a lot too shrill.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Stevie emphasized ‘wrong’ in a way that made David want to crawl in a hole. Like seriously, at least in a hole there would only be worms. 

“Moths!” David squeaked.

“What?”

“Fuck, Stevie! There are moths flying all around the porch light AND your head!” David shuddered. “Turn off the damn light!”

“Oh, my God, David!” Stevie clamped her hands over her mouth in delight.

“Are you afraid of moths?”

“Only the ones with milky white exoskeletons!”David’s voice wavered slightly. “Please turn off the light?” He whined.

Stevie leaned back inside the door and flicked off the light. She waited while David skip-ran up the stairs past her and into the house.

“Oh, my God, David! Sometimes I forget what my life was like before I met you.”

“Fuck off,” David huffed. “I’m going to bed!”

“Oh, don’t be like that!” Stevie called after him. “David come back here! I was only kidding!”

David shot her a glare over his shoulder, walked into his bathroom, and slammed the door.

Stevie looked at her watch—just enough time to make amends.She went back to the kitchen and flicked on the oven.

By the time David had finished his nine-step face regime and had showered, the chocolate chip cookies were finished. Stevie left a plate of them on his bed with a note.

Sorry I teased you about the moths. It won’t happen again.

David was still annoyed but that didn’t stop him from eating the cookies—they were still warm after all. Too bad she hadn’t thought to bring him a glass of milk. 


	8. Most Likely To Get the Guy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David enjoys a day off and he and Stevie decide to go to Mutt’s party.

Stevie looked at her watch and decided it was late enough to text David. 

S: You going to the thing at Mutt’s?

D. Haven’t decided.

S: What’s to decide. It’s Friday night. Got something better to do?

D: Besides popping a pill and going to bed early?

S: you don’t pop pills

D: not anymore. Can’t afford them.

S: there’s a half-smoked joint in my room.

D: Ew!

Stevie waited.

D: where? 

S: that’s what I thought. Nightstand.

David went into Stevie’s room—he looked around in dismay. This was one reason it would never have worked with them long-term. She was a total slob. He wrinkled his nose when he saw the half-eaten frozen waffle on her nightstand. He carefully opened the drawer almost afraid of what might jump out at him.

Sure enough there was a fat little blunt sitting in a chipped Schitt’s Creek Motel ashtray. It was sitting beside a purple satin bag.

David’s mouth quirked up on one side. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and texted Stevie.

D: what’s in the bag? (He knew perfectly well what was in the bag, but he couldn’t resist teasing Stevie)

S: Don’t you dare even think about it, David.

David ignored her.

S: David! 

David continued to ignore her as he sat on the edge of her bed and grabbed the lighter. 

S: Fuck! I swear to God David, if you use my dildo I will never forgive you.

David exhaled a ring of smoke and finally texted back. 

D: Don’t worry. I won’t play with your puppy—not really my thing.

David took another deep inhale, then lost it in a fit of laughter when his phone rang.

He hit the button to answer and flipped it to speaker. Before he could even say hello, Stevie was yelling at him.

“What in the actual fuck David? I told you where the joint was but didn’t think you’d go rifling through my stuff! Is that what you do when I’m not home?”

David considered her question for a moment. He had gone through her closet when she wasn’t home but that was just to retrieve the several articles of clothing she had absconded with during the brief “closet space for unlimited use” barter they had. He decided it wasn’t a lie—not really—since he’d just been getting his own stuff back.

“Nope” he answered taking another hit.

“No? How the hell do you know I have a puppy if you didn’t look in the bag?”

David exhaled slowly. He was starting to feel the buzz. Fuck he was such a lightweight these days. He thought about Hermione—she had been a lot like Stevie. Similar petite frame, same dark hair, same perky little breasts...hmmm best not to think about Stevie’s breasts. Besides, that’s where the similarities ended. Hermione was whacked—and not just because she legally changed her name after JK’s last book came out but for so many other reasons he couldn’t list them if he tried. 

Stevie sighed in exasperation. “David?”

He shrugged his shoulders. The truth was easier than a lie any day. “My ex had one—same cheap synthetic purple bag trying to pretend it’s silk. Like I said, not really my thing. Although if I had a clit, I can see how it might quickly become my thing.” 

Stevie wasn’t sure she wanted to know but decided to ask anyway. “Which ex?” ‘God, please don’t say Hermione’ she thought to herself. David had told her about their, erm, similarities.

David giggled. He couldn’t stop himself. “Guess.”

Stevie bit her lip. “I’m nothing like that freak of nature, David! Now get out of my room!” She hung up the phone.

David took one more long drag and stubbed out the butt. He let his fingers drift across the purple bag. Hermione may have been whack-a-doo but she’d been fucking amazing in bed. Yet another thing she had in common with Stevie. Impulsively he grabbed Stevie’s pillow and inhaled her scent. He sat there for a few more minutes breathing in the smell of her before trying to put the pillow back exactly he way he’d found it. ‘What the hell am I doing?’ He asked himself not for the first time. 

Before he left Stevie’s room he collected all of her dirty dishes. She might be a slob but he had to live here—at least until he figured out some other option—and he was not in the mood for a rat infestation. When he picked up the plate with the half-eaten waffle, he noticed the yearbook laying on the floor so he picked it up too.

David was napping on the couch when Stevie got home. His long body twisted away from the television. He had one arm on his chest and one arm slung across his eyes. One foot was hanging off the arm of the sofa and one leg was curled under the other. Stevie let herself admire the beauty that was David Rose for a moment before she whacked his foot startling him awake.

“What the fuck?” David lurched up rubbing his eyes. “Ugh. It’s just you. Why’d you wake me?”

“Because there’s a party tonight and you’re going!”

“Why?” David whined.

“Because you need to do something other than go to work and fall asleep on this couch.”

“Fine,” David yawned and stood up. “Although I’ll have you know, I do other things besides working and falling asleep on the couch. In fact, I did a little reading earlier today.”

He leaned over and picked up a book off the coffee table and flipped it open to a bookmarked page, “Stevie Budd, voted most likely to get the guy.”

“Where did you find that?” Stevie’s voice rose in frustration. “You really DID rifle through my things!”

“No I didn’t,” David said holding the book above his head out of Stevie’s reach and laughing. “It was right there on the floor by your bed. No rifling required. Reliving our glory days were we?”

“Yeah, well I’ve seen pictures of you in high school. You were voted most likely to get a nose job.”

David dropped the yearbook onto the couch and put his hand to his face covering his nose. “Ouch! That was low even for you.” He glared at her pretending to be offended.

“Shit, I’m sorry, David,” Stevie said, “I was just teasing. You know I like your nose even if it isn’t the one you were born with.”

David couldn’t hide his grin any longer, “I bet you don’t like my nose as much as all the high school girls loved your haircut” he teased back. Stevie’s bi-level haircut was hilarious. 

“You suck!” Stevie said. She was annoyed she couldn’t come up with a better retort, but David wasn’t wrong. That haircut had been a very bad idea. it had been like some kind of weird mating call to all the lesbians on her softball team. 

“Well this has been fun, but I’m going to shower,” David said. 

“You riding with me?” Stevie asked.

“Can’t,” David said. “It’s my parents’ anniversary. I should stop by the motel to congratulate them on their ongoing love for one another.”

“How many years have they been married?” Stevie asked.

David narrowed his eyes. “A fair few. Why?”

Stevie shrugged her shoulders innocently. “I was just curious.”

“I’m not that gullible,” David said. Ever since he’d once mentioned he was born seven months after his parents got married, Stevie had been trying to figure out how long ago that was. He didn’t understand why she couldn’t just take his word for it that he was 29–did it really matter how many times he’d actually celebrated that particular birthday. 

“You know I’m going to figure it out one of these days, right?”

“Probably. But you’re not going to learn it from me.”

“Whatever.” And with that Stevie went into her room. She popped her head back out about thirty seconds later, “Thanks for adiosing my dirty dishes.”

“Thanks for the joint,” David responded ignoring her Nottinghill reference. He refused to engage in meaningless banter about the world’s most romantic movie with someone who held it in such contempt. The first (and only) time they had watched it together, Stevie couldn’t get through it without mocking every single beautiful thing about it.

After walking to the hotel to wish his parents a happy anniversary he hung out while Alexis got ready for the party. She’d arranged a ride with Twyla so he decided to tag along. 

When they got to the party he almost asked if he could borrow Twyla’s car so he could put as many miles between him and the 37 pick-up trucks and the handful of low-riders parked in the field around Mutt’s barn as he possibly could. Twyla must have guessed what he was thinking though since she refused—funny how stealing Roland’s truck had made everyone so much less likely to lend him their cars. 

David squared his shoulders, took a deep breath and followed Alexis and Twyla into the barn. ‘I can’t believe I’m going to a party in a barn,’ he thought to himself. He stopped a few feet away from the door, trying to decide if he really should just go take another nap in Twyla’s car.

Alexis, uncharacteristically aware of anyone other than herself, stopped and turned around when she realized he wasn’t still behind her. “Come on,” she said grabbing his arm, “You’re just coming for a party, I practically LIVED here!”

David rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.”

Alexis flashed him a grin, “It’s not that bad! You get used to the smell.”

As it turned out, she was right. It helped that the only thing he could really smell was pot. 

David made his way across the dance floor—if it was actually a floor—to the food table. He hadn’t eaten much today, plus when he got nervous he liked to be around food—it gave him something to do besides standing around trying not to judge people, or worse getting so drunk that he’d get all flirty and try to fuck one or two of them. 

He spotted the bottle of vodka and decided getting a little drunk might not be a bad thing after all then he picked it up and realized it wasn’t chilled. He reluctantly grabbed a red solo cup and started to put ice in it when he felt a presence behind him and heard, “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

David turned around and looked straight into an incredibly handsome face. 

He tried to explain how wrong it was that someone would bring room temperature vodka to a party but then the guy said something about the ice smelling fishy. David smelled his cup and decided he definitely was not going to be getting drunk tonight.

The guy lingered while David awkwardly tried to scoop the ice out of his cup with his fingers. They introduced themselves and then Jake, the guy who belonged to that gorgeous face, added, “it’s nice to meet you handsome.”

David’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. He’d been in Schitt’s Creek for almost a year and a half and was convinced there were absolutely zero options of the male persuasion for him, so he couldn’t help being a little caught off guard. 

Back in New York, a line like that would have been thrown at him many times on an average Tuesday night, and he would have either responded in kind or with disdain if necessary but here? Here, he was totally off his game. 

He was trying to remember how to flirt back when he saw Stevie walk into the room. She was wearing a tight black dress and heels and damn! she looked amazing. He was briefly conflicted but opted to go talk to Stevie instead of hanging out with the guy who had just called him handsome. ‘What the fuck is wrong with me?’ He thought as walked over to Stevie.

“Wow! Look at you!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Stevie asked sounding mildly insulted.

“Umm,” David said, “it’s just I’ve never seen you this dressed up before.” He was trying not to sound too complimentary especially since what he really wanted to do was tell her how fucking hot she looked. 

Stevie quipped back, “I do what I want.” She watched several different expressions flit across David’s face and then decided it was best to be brutally honest, “and tonight,” she said looking around, “I’m wanting to meet someone.”

“Oh,” David’s brain clunked into a lower gear. Fine. If that’s how tonight was going to go maybe he should make her a little jealous that someone had just hit on him. 

He didn’t know why he was surprised that she knew Jake, but when he asked if he was one of her high school conquests he really didn’t want to know the answer. 

And then just as suddenly as he felt a flare of jealousy it turned into something else entirely. This was a competition? How the fuck did this become a competition? And Jesus, did Stevie just adjust her breasts? 

David glanced sideways at her chest. Yes, she most certainly did. Shit her tits looked great. But THAT was not the point. One of them was gonna get laid tonight and it was NOT going to be Stevie. 

David suddenly remembered how to flirt. He may not have pert little breasts or be wearing four inch fuck-me stilettos, but he had a hell of a smolder AND he was wearing skin tight jeans. Plus the guy had called him handsome. He liked his odds.

Much to their mutual disappointment, Jake moved on to other prey. David and Stevie looked at each other in disgust, both turning and walking in the opposite direction from the other; David in search of more food and Stevie in search of another prospect. 

David has just shoved a marginally edible taquito into his mouth when Jake slithered up beside him again. David’s mouth went dry which made the taquito feel like someone had shoved a giant cotton ball into his mouth. He tried to discreetly spit the overly large bite into a napkin. He heard himself mumble something about “shame eating,” which seemed to confuse Jake. 

“What’s shame eating?”

“Oh, I don’t think we have time to get into that tonight,” David said seriously wiping his hands together to get rid of the feeling of the terribly low quality napkin he’d just been forced to use. 

Although “Should we get some air?” may not have been the best pickup line ever, David was suddenly very interested in getting some air. He shook his head yes and Jake grabbed his hand pulling him through the maze of people. 

David glanced around victoriously hoping Stevie was watching—but he couldn’t see her anywhere in the crowd. He glanced down at Jake’s tight ass in front of him leading him through the crowd and, for the first time in a long time, he wasn’t thinking about Stevie. And who could blame him? It was a very nice ass.


	9. Afternoon Delight—Never Say That Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jake and David meet at the motel when no one is home—sexy, smutty fun ensues. Although David continues to fixate on Stevie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pride!

David heard his text alert ping and he rolled over and groaned. It was too fucking early for anyone he knew to be texting him. Then he read the text and the corner of his mouth quirked up. ‘Well, well. Guess Stevie’s kiss with Jake—if it had even happened—hadn’t meant as much to Jake as mine did,’ David thought to himself although with slightly less exuberance than he expected to feel. 

Jake: When can I see you again?

David didn’t want to seem too eager so he decided to take a shower before responding.

He finished finger combing his hair and looked himself up and down in the mirror. He smirked again. ‘Yep! I’m definitely getting laid today.’ He thought to himself.

David scooped his cell phone up from where he’d left it on the bed. Hi. He texted. You free at noon?

Jake wrote back almost instantly. Yes! Where?

David; Schitt’s Creek Motel—Room 4. We’ll have the place to ourselves.

Jake: And what will we do in room 4 with it all to ourselves?

David chewed the inside of his cheek for a minute. He couldn’t resist texting back, Oh, I think you’ll find I’m a pretty open-minded guy.

Jake sent back a thumbs-up emoji.

David shook his head at Jake’s exceedingly pathetic response. ‘Okay,’ he thought, ‘so clearly he’s not so great at repartee. Oh, well. Let’s hope he’s better at other things’

*****************

‘Oh, holy fuck!’ David thought as Jake rode his cock and brought him close to the edge for a fourth time. ‘Thank God he really is better at other things.’ David wasn’t usually a huge fan of being edged, but he had to admit Jake was pretty good at it. 

The first time he’d brought David close with his hand and mouth on him. He pulled off when David’s thighs started to shake and surged up plunging his tongue into David’s mouth. Jake grabbed David’s hand and pushed it down between them. “Touch me,” he’d growled into David’s mouth. So David did, forgetting for the moment how close he’d been. 

The second time, Jake was everywhere. He’d licked his way down David’s chest and along his hip and then he’d rolled David onto his stomach. Jake continued licking and biting along the top of David’s thighs. He slid his hand between David’s cheeks and pulled gently on his balls while licking up his crack. David bucked his hips into the mattress and almost came again. Jake chuckled and lifted David’s hips up off the mattress. “Oh, no you don’t. I’m not done with you yet.”

David was shocked by the ease with which Jake pulled him back and onto his lap. They were almost the same size but with Jake’s arms wrapped around him from behind, David felt smaller somehow. Jake kissed along the side of his neck and stilled his hands. “Breathe with me, handsome.” David did, although he briefly wondered if Jake had forgotten his name. He tilted his head to give Jake better access to his neck. 

Jake laughed—it was a low, husky laugh. David thought he’d heard that laugh before but he couldn’t quite place it. 

Jake lowered himself down onto the bed, his hardness pushing into David’s ass. Jake stroked David’s lower back and the tops of his hips. He dropped his hands down to the bed and David looked over his shoulder at him. “Come here,” Jake said smiling up at him. So David did. He twisted around and Jake pulled him down on top of him—rutting up into him while David claimed his mouth. Their dicks were perfectly lined up and they quickly found a rythymn. Just when David felt the familiar ache below his stomach, Jake pushed up and flipped them so he was on top. He took all of his weight off of David. David groaned and tried to pull him back down. Jake just grinned down at him. David arched his back trying to make contact, but Jake hovered above him. “Down, boy.” Jake said.

David was marginally irritated by that. ‘What am I a horse?’ He thought. 

Jake slid off of him and David closed his eyes. ‘Fuck! The guy was a cock-tease.’ He started to sit up before he felt Jake’s hand on his chest pushing him back down. “Sorry,” Jake said although he didn’t sound sorry. “Just had to get these.” He held up a condom package and a bottle of lube.

David wasn’t terribly surprised, but he also wasn’t completely sure he wanted to let this guy get off after he’d edged him without even discussing it. He was about to say something to end this little afternoon playtime when Jake shocked the hell out of him by rolling the condom on David’s dick. “Oh,” David’s eyes went wide as Jake slicked him up. “I’m assuming you’re good to go?” Jake asked. 

“Uh...yes,” David answered. “Do you need me to, umm?” David started to move his hand around Jake’s ass. 

Jake leaned up and winked at David. “Nope, I’m good to go.” And with that he reached for David’s dick and rocked his body over it taking a little in at a time. Once he was full he started to move his hips grinding David’s dick into him. David dug his fingers into Jake’s hips and met him thrust for thrust. Jake leaned forward and David took the hint. He raised his knees creating a better angle. Jake began to moan with every thrust. David released his hips and wrapped his long fingers around Jake’s dick which had been dripping precum along David’s belly. David moved his hand in time with his thrusts up into Jake. It was an odd angle but David was pretty good with angles. He felt Jake clench around him as he coaxed him through his orgasm. David came a couple of moments later. His legs felt like rubber and he let his hands fall on either side of Jake’s thighs. He grinned up at Jake. “So...that was...”

“That was what?” Jake’s asked as he leaned up and David reached down to hold the condom while Jake moved off of him. 

“Unexpected.” David answered. 

“I was thinking, hot!” Jake said.

“Yes, that too,” David grinned.

Jake leaned down and gave David a surprisingly chaste kiss. “Can I grab a shower?”

“Of course,” David said. 

“Wanna join me?” Jake leered at him.

David glanced at the clock on the nightstand. “Umm. I’m not sure when my sister will be back so I probably shouldn’t. I’ll just clean up here then take one when I get home.”

“Home? I thought you lived here?” Jake said as he started for the bathroom.

“I used to.” David answered. “I moved in with Stevie about a month ago.”

Jake leaned his head out of the bathroom. “You live with Stevie?”

David was pulling on his pants, “Yes. I just keep this stuff here so my sister doesn’t get any ideas about taking over the whole room you know, in case things don’t work out.”

David heard the water running and assumed Jake had gotten in the shower. Jake came back out and leaned against the doorframe. David let his eyes drift down Jake’s toned body and suddenly felt more than a little self-conscious. He really should work out more. . “So you and Stevie are?” Jake asked. David recognized the tone of surprise and it pissed him off. 

“We’re not together,” David said, pausing. “At least not anymore.”

“But at one point you were?” Jake asked still clearly caught off guard by David’s revelation.

“Yes,” David said sharply. “We’ve dated off and on for awhile—but we’re off right now. Why? Is that a problem for you?”

Jake shook his head no. “Like I said the other night, I’m a pretty open minded guy.”

David quirked an eyebrow at him but didn’t say anything. 

Jake looked at him appraisingly. “Apparently you are too?”

“Yep.” David said. He was annoyed that Jake had just assumed he was gay. He knew a lot of people did, but for some reason it pissed him off when butch guys did it. Like that fucking Grant guy Stevie thought was so hot. Maybe it wasn’t really butch guys that bothered him—maybe it was just muscle-bound assholes who Stevie found attractive. ‘Well, fuck.’ David thought. ‘And it comes back to that.’

He was just about finished changing the sheets on the bed when his mother walked in and accused him of bedazzling her portfolio.


	10. I Don’t Think Anybody’s Not Cool Here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Stevie navigate living together and dating Jake.

_“I don’t think anybody’s not cool here.” “That was never the thing.”_

David and Stevie drove from Jake’s shop in silence for a few minutes before they both spoke at once.

“So are we...” David started to say.

“Are we sure we,” Stevie said at the same time.

David waved for her to continue. Stevie looked at him briefly before returning her eyes to the road and starting again, “Are we sure we want to do this?”

“Do what?” David asked, “Fuck the same guy?”

“Yes.”

David shrugged his shoulders and looked at the passing farm land around them. He sighed and rubbed his hands on the tops of his thighs. “It wouldn’t be the first time this has happened to me and I’m guessing it won’t be the last. So, yeah, I guess we’re doing this.”

“Okay...” Stevie paused. “So, should we have some ground rules at least? Like things we each want the other to promise not to do or whatever?”

“Sure.” David shrugged again. He was trying to feign disinterest but he wasn’t sure Stevie was buying it. What he really wanted to do was ask her to stop the car so he could get away from her and this whole damn situation he’d somehow found himself in again. How did this keep happening to him? Why was it so easy for people to not want to be exclusive with him? Of course he couldn’t say any of that to Stevie. 

“So....?” Stevie asked leaving the question hanging.

“So what?” David asked.

“So, what are your ground rules?” Stevie asked impatiently.

“Okay, I’m assuming this one is a given, but be safe. No condoms, no sex, agreed?”

Stevie shook her head in agreement. “How about no more same-day hook-ups because, ewww.”

David looked at her—“Just to be clear I didn’t KNOW you’d already fucked Jake today when I agreed to meet him.”

Stevie said, “I know. We’re just going to have to tell him that’s one of our rules.”

“Okay,” David said, “I have one more—not at our house. I don’t want to have to hear the two of you going at it and I’m assuming you’d rather not hear us either.”

Stevie pursed her lips. 

“What’s that look for?” David asked his voice pitching upward. 

“I’m going to have to explain to Jake why we can’t do it at our house.”

“So?” David asked.

It was Stevie’s turn to shrug. “I don’t know. He’s probably going to think it’s weird since he’s already stayed with me at our place.”

Confusion played across David’s face for half a second before he gasped. That’s why Jake’s laugh had seemed familiar. “Fuck! That was Jake the other night?”

Stevie nodded.

“Shit, Stevie! I never would have...oh, fuck.” David looked at his hands and his voice grew quieter. “I didn’t know.”

Stevie looked over at him. She reached across and put her hand on his leg, “I know you didn’t. It’s not a big deal.”

“But I would never have...” David paused again, “I don’t know. I guess I just never would have flirted with him or whatever if I’d known you were already seeing him,” he said apologetically.

“Hey, it’s really not a big deal, okay?” Stevie tried to laugh it off. “How does that saying go, ‘All’s fair in love and war?’

David put his hand on top of hers and squeezed. “Is this love or is it war?”

Stevie didn’t answer. 

Over the next few weeks they settled into a strange routine of sorts. Jake would pick each of them up from work a night or two each week and they would stay at Jake’s place. On Wednesday nights they were usually both home—Jake had a bowling league or something on Wednesdays. At first they didn’t talk much about Jake or about anything really. 

For the first couple of weeks they tiptoed around each other a fair bit. Until one night after David started to take his food into his bedroom to eat and Stevie yelled at him. “Seriously? We’re going to just ignore each other from here on out?”

David blinked at her. He was surprised but also incredibly relieved. This separation from Stevie was killing him but he didn’t know how to fix it.

He stopped and put his plate on the counter. “Look, I’m apparently REALLY bad at this.”

“So am I,” Stevie said. “Let’s get stoned. We do better when we’re stoned.”

David’s mouth quirked up into a wolfish smile.

“Ugggh!” Stevie slapped his shoulder, “THAT is NOT what I meant!”

Not surprisingly their conversation that night centered around Jake. They talked about how ridiculously self-absorbed he was, how annoying it was that he hadn’t read a book or a newspaper in the past decade, and how horrible his coffee was. As they finished the joint Stevie had pulled from her stash, their conversation meandered into more interesting territory as they both admitted how attentive and surprisingly inventive Jake could be in bed. They agreed it was why they were both trying to make this whole weird situation work. 

“It’s not like a forever thing,” Stevie said. “I’m pretty sure I’m not built for forever.”

“Me either,” David said a little wistfully. He used to think he wasn’t made for a forever thing either, but lately, he’d been imagining what that might be like—to find someone he could stand to be around and who could at least tolerate him, maybe. He knew Jake wasn’t a long-term option but there was nothing wrong with having some great sex while he tried to figure out who or what he wanted to be in this new fucked up reality he was living in. 

Somehow they’d ended up on the couch—David’s legs were propped up on the coffee table and Stevie was laying with her head in his lap. He was absentmindedly massaging his fingers through her hair.

She’d just told a story about fucking in the back of Jake’s truck under the stars. David was super stoned but not enough to realize how surreal this whole situation was. He was sitting here laughing at Stevie’s story about getting a giant mosquito bite on her ass because Jake had wanted to fuck outside, and he couldn’t quite figure out if he was jealous of Jake or of Stevie. Not that he’d ever really want to fuck Jake in the back of his truck OR get a mosquito bite on his ass. 

David let his head fall back against the couch. His mind was ping-ponging all over the place but in slow motion. ‘I wonder if he’s better at eating pussy or giving head?’ He thought to himself. 

Stevie answered, “If he’s half as good at giving you head as he is at eating me out, you are a very lucky boy.”

David was shocked. “Did I say that out loud?”

“Say what out loud?” Stevie asked giggling.

“The thing...about eating pussy?” David answered. Fuck he was clearly very stoned.

“Oh, yeah. I think so.” Stevie paused. “Yes. You must have.” 

She slowly moved her head against David’s hand silently encouraging him to continue running his fingers through her hair. “Hmm, that feels good.”

“Fuck, yeah it does.” David agreed but for a totally different reason. The way Stevie was moving her head was rubbing against his dick in a way that was definitely getting through to his pot-addled brain.

Stevie’s eyes flicked up to his before she realized what she was doing. “Oh, sorry,” she said as she started to sit up. 

David’s eyes were dark and his face was flushed, “Don’t be” he whispered as he leaned down to kiss her. Stevie reached a hand around his neck and pulled his mouth more firmly against hers. She bit down on David’s lower lip eliciting a soft moan from him. 

She pulled back and stared at him. “Should we find out?”

“Find our what?” David asked not taking his eyes off of her.

“Who’s better?”

David was confused for a minute. Then his grin widened. “Oh, you mean Jake or us?”

“That’s exactly what I mean.” Stevie answered playfully. “As I recall, you’re pretty damn good at it.”

“So are you, if memory serves.” David said. 

When David’s alarm went off the next morning he groaned and rolled over to reach for his phone and ended up smacking Stevie across the forehead. 

“Ouch!”

“Oh, fuck!” David squealed. He sat up and blinked several times. Why was Stevie in his bed? He shook his head tentatively back and forth—nope, no hangover. Then he tried to swallow—oh, God. His throat was sore and his mouth tasted truly vile. He clearly hadn’t brushed his teeth last night. 

He looked over at Stevie who had rolled away from him with her head buried under the covers. She was snoring softly. 

David looked down at his hands—he vaguely remembered running his hands through Stevie’s hair. He could remember bits and pieces of last night—he remembered she was mad at him for something and then they got stoned and then—oh fuck balls—they’d made out on the couch. Something about a contest? 

“Stevie,” he pushed her shoulder. “Stevie wake up!”

“Fuck off,” Stevie said burrowing further under the covers.

“Stephanie Amber Budd, I am talking to you,” David said more forcefully than he’d intended. 

Stevie huffed and sat up throwing the covers down over her legs. Her hair was everywhere. ‘Thank God she still has her clothes on,” David thought to himself. 

“Don’t call me Stephanie!” Stevie protested as she rubbed her hands across her face.

“Why are you in my bed?” David asked.

“Why do you think I’m in your bed?” Stevie whined. “I was sleeping.”

David rolled his eyes. “I KNOW you were sleeping. Why were you sleeping in my bed?”

“Because, David, we got stoned and we decided to see who was better at sex—us or Jake.”

“What?” David’s voice was shrill and he jumped out of the bed like the house was on fire.

“You don’t remember?” Stevie asked.

“Ummm, of course I do,” David lied.

“You are SUCH a bad liar.”

“Fine. So we had sex last night.” David said matter-of-factly. It wouldn’t be the first time he couldn’t remember getting laid although he’d honestly thought those days were behind him.

Stevie decided to fuck with him just for the hell of it. “Oh, we definitely had sex last night, David.”

David sat down on the side of the bed, not looking at her. “Well, for my part,” he said softly, “I guess I should apologize.” He turned his body slightly so he could look at her. “I know you said you didn’t want to do that with me anymore.”

Stevie couldn’t keep up the charade—so instead she picked up a pillow and hit him with it. “Geez! Don’t be so maudlin! We didn’t have sex last night.”

“Oh, I’m going to kill you!” David said as he pounced on her straddling her waist and pushing the pillow into her face lightly. Stevie batted him away laughing.

“You really don’t remember?” She asked. 

“I remember getting stoned and making out on the couch,” David said averting his eyes again and shifting his weight off of her. 

“Well, it’s a little hazy for me after that too but I do remember coming in here and making out some more. Then we started giggling and laughing about your clothes—I couldn’t figure out how to get your damn skirt off.”

David started to protest, but Stevie held up a hand to stop him. “I know, I know, it’s not a skirt. You’ve told me a hundred times.”

“And then what?”

Stevie shrugged, “We were both pretty out of it. I vaguely remember talking about the boobs on the mannequins at the Blouse Barn for some reason. I’m guessing we just fell asleep at some point.”

“Okay...so are we?” David said drawing out the question.

“We’re fine, David. We were stoned. It was fun,” Stevie said as she slid off the bed. “Let’s not make a big thing out of it, okay?”

“Okay.” David agreed.

Stevie was halfway to her room when David called after her. “Hey, we’re not going to...”

“Tell Jake?” Stevie interrupted. “Fuck no! If he found out about it he’d never give up asking us for a threesome.”


	11. Aunt Maureen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David learns a little more about Stevie's Aunt Maureen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank everyone who has read and supported this work. I'm sincerely sorry it's taken me so long to get back to it. There is no excuse other than Covid is weird and my life has been a little "f'd" for the past several months. For anyone who might still be following along, I've outlined the next three chapters and an epilogue. I hope to get everything finished by the end of this month. This chapter is unbeta'd so apologies for any issues.

“Thank you, David.”

“For what?”

“For being here with me.”

David took another sip of wine and slid his feet further under Stevie’s thigh. “Well, since we dumped Jake, there isn’t anywhere I’d rather be.”

“David,” Stevie said, “I’m being serious.”

“So am I.”

“You know what I mean. I’m not good at this. I appreciate you spending the day with me and helping me scatter Maureen’s ashes.”

David took another sip and tipped his head back into the sofa letting the Brunello slide down his throat. “This wine is REALLY good.”

“It should be. It cost $15.00 for the bottle.”

David opened his eyes abruptly. “$15.00?”

“Why? Is that a problem for you?” Stevie asked.

David thought about it for a minute and then shook his head. “No. It’s fine. It’s just that I’ve had $500 bottles of wine that weren’t this good. Seriously…when I think about the money I used to spend.”

“Yes, I seem to remember a pair of jeans that cost more than my car,” Stevie teased. David rarely talked about his life before he came here, other than to talk about his galleries or sometimes the famous people he’d dated—although Alexis did that more frequently than David did.

David fingered the hem of his sweater lost in thought. 

“Anyway, thanks again.”

“Stevie,” David started to say and then stopped. He was terrible at this. THEY were terrible at this whole sincerity thing. “I really wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else today.”

They sat in silence for a little bit each lost in their own thoughts. David looked over at Stevie and wiggled his toes vigorously under her leg. 

“Ouch!" Stevie yelped. "What was that for?” 

“You were burning a hole in our carpet with your stare. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I need more wine,” Stevie said standing abruptly.

David got up and followed her into the kitchen. He was just going by instinct here, but he was pretty sure she had stuff she needed to unload. He knew if it had been his aunt, he would. Well, unless it was Dee-Dee, then he might not have much to say, but apparently Stevie and her aunt were closer than he and, well, he and anyone.

“How long had it been since you’d seen her?”

“Who?”

David rolled his eyes. “You know who. Your aunt, Stevie.”

“About ten years.”

David’s eyebrows shot up. “Ten years?”

“Yeah. I was working the front desk one day and she came down the stairs from her apartment carrying a suitcase. She tossed me a big key ring and said I should take care of the place.”

“And…?” David prodded.

“And that was the last time I saw her.”

“Okay, so I’m guessing there is more to this story. Do you want to tell me?”

“No.” Stevie looked at him and then looked down as she swirled the wine around in her glass. “But I probably should.”

David started to say something, but Stevie held up her hand. “You know I suck at this. But maybe it will help if I tell you some of it.”

There was something in Stevie’s tone that made David realize she wasn’t just talking about herself. Well, fuck. This might be more than he bargained for when he’d asked the question, but he was in it now. “Okay.”

Stevie grabbed the bottle of wine and her glass and carried it back into their small living room. She sat opposite David in the hideous recliner she’d hauled home one day. David refused to sit in it so it had become Stevie’s chair. It’s where she sat to read a book and open her mail. Sometimes in the middle of the night when her frequent insomnia kicked in she’d waddle into the living room wrapped in her comforter and fall into the recliner to try to get another hour or two of sleep. 

David looked at her and waited. 

Stevie sighed and put her glass down. “Once upon a time Aunt Maureen was a true wild child. She’d had four or five different long-term live-in boyfriends by the time she was our age. Your age at least.” Stevie smirked—she loved to goad David about their three-year age difference. 

“She never married any of them?” David asked. 

Stevie shook her head. “She always said getting married was for ‘normal’ people—which was the last thing she ever wanted to be.”

“What was wrong with normal?” David asked. Stevie rolled her eyes. If anyone should get it, David should.

“You’ve met some of my family,” Stevie looked at David who nodded, “you know how they are. Maureen did her best to keep an eye on all of us. She was a raging alcoholic but a functional one. She tried to take care of us in her own way. She was always there with bail money or a place to crash for a week or two if any of us needed it.”

David blanched. “Uhm, bail money?”

Stevie waved him off. “Anyway, after my mom ran off with Gwen’s brother, Maureen asked me to move in with her. She made sure I finished high school and helped me pay for college. When I graduated and came back here, she asked me to help her run the motel.”

It was David’s turn to smirk, “And remind me what your degree was?”

“You know full well it wasn’t business, David.”

“So why did she think you could run the motel?”

Stevie shrugged. “She never went to college and she did it pretty well. I guess she figured if I was smart enough to graduate, I was smart enough to help her run the motel.”

David’s mouth quirked into a smile. “And, it turns out she was right.”

Stevie glared at him. “If I’d been really smart, I wouldn’t have come back here after I graduated.” 

David took in a breath. Every once in awhile Stevie would say something like that and it made his heart hurt a little bit. He couldn’t imagine what would have happened to him in the past year if he hadn’t met Stevie.

Stevie gave him a half-hearted smile as though she’d read his mind. “Anyway, after I moved back here, I fell into old patterns. I partied a lot. I think Maureen just got sick of cleaning up my messes. I think she knew I was never going to grow up if she was here to pick up after me. She said she’d always wanted to live in Florida, she knew I could handle the motel without her, and she was ready to ‘turn the keys over to someone else.’”

“Literally in this case,” David added.

Stevie nodded. “Yes. That was the last time I saw her.”

Sensing that Stevie had said everything she was going to say, David said. “Thank you for telling me about her. It sounds like she was kind, determined woman who knew her own mind and took care of the people she loved. Kind of like someone else I know.”

Stevie’s eyes met David’s briefly then she stood up. “I’m going to bed.”

David nodded his head. “Okay.” He stood up as well and started to reach for her.

“What are you doing?” Stevie asked sharply.

“I…ummm” David stammered. “I thought maybe you needed a...ummm, a hug.”

Stevie crossed her arms and glared at him.

David lifted his hands in surrender. “Okay, I guess not.”

“Yeah, you sure read that one wrong,” Stevie said.

David shuffled his feet and rubbed the back of his neck looking at the floor. “Well, good night then, I guess.”

As she walked past him, Stevie playfully knocked her shoulder into David a little more forcefully than she’d intended. She caught him off guard and he lost his balance, tumbling onto the sofa. 

“Fuck, Stevie!” he yelled.

“Oh shit! David, I'm so sorry” Stevie said laughing and not sounding sorry in the slightest. "I really didn’t mean to knock you over.”

David was scrambling to right himself and Stevie nearly doubled-over with laughter. David was pissed. He was about to tell her off when her shoulders started heaving. He reached out and put his hand on hers for a few minutes, all of his irritation suddenly replaced with concern.

“Oh, fuck. I’m sorry,” she said wiping her tears with the sleeve of her flannel shirt.

“For what?” David said squeezing her hand. After a minute or two, he asked softly, “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright. I am going to go to bed now, before you manage to trip me again and make me hit my head and die of a brain bleed or something.”

Stevie tried to laugh but it came out more of a sob. She tightened her grip on his hand.

David looked down at her not sure of what to do next, so he just stood there.

Stevie didn’t look up from the floor when she whispered his name. It came out as a question. “David?” 

“Yeah.”

“I think I could use that hug now.”


End file.
